Giving up on giving

Desperate shoppers are searching frantically for the perfect Christmas present, but for many of us it no longer exists.
Joanna Moorhead

December 18, 2006 06:35 PM | Printable version

Desperate shoppers are everywhere. The stores are teeming with them. They search around wildly, saucer-eyed, clutching at every item in view, hoping against hope they'll find the present that's eluded them all December long.

But here's betting they won't. Because, for more and more of us, the perfect gift no longer exists. It doesn't exist because most of the people in your life - your mum, your dad, your partner, your kid, even your dog - has everything, she or he could possibly need. And more.

After all, what do we do when we want something? Do we write it down in our palm pilot on a page marked "My Christmas list"? No, we don't: instead, we go to the shops or we log onto a website, we get out a credit card, and we jolly well buy our desired item. Today! OK, so maybe your dog hasn't quite mastered the habit of keying his credit card number into your PC; and maybe your kid has to pester you for a week or two before he finally gets what he really, really wants. But certainly for most of us, the world is about instant gratification. We see; we like; we buy. We don't wait for Christmas.

Which, come December, is a problem. And it's a problem that makes you wonder: it is worth carrying on with this present-buying lark at all?

Retailers, of course, tell us we must. After all, people buy themselves what they want, when they want it; and then at Christmas we all race out to buy any old tat, just so there's something under the tree. Whole shops have sprung up to cater for people who really don't need another stick or sausage in their life, but who must be bought a gift. The buy-a-goat-for-Africa phenomenon, though partly motivated by genuine concern for people in other parts of the world, was another symptom of the same phenomenon (and according to aid worker friends of mine, there are even some African villages that now have too many goats).

What's the answer? This is controversial, but I'm going to be brave. We have to take a long, hard look at why we think we need to go on buying all these presents. We have to think about cutting back, or even stopping doing it altogether. We have to be honest about our wants, honest about our needs, and honest about our ability to meet our own desires. After all, is Christmas in 2006 really about giving? This year, to me, it feels more like it's about swamping; and I just don't want to be swamped any more.